Chapter 50

They pulled into the parking lot of the All Western Gun Show and parked next to a pickup. It had been a long trip from Tulsa and the men were stiff and sore from the ride. Stopping only for gas and fast food had helped them make good time, but it had not been first class travel. The truck was littered with taco wrappers, pizza boxes, burger boxes, and empty soda and beer cans. Some of the trash fell out the door as the six men in camouflage extricated themselves from the truck. They dusted off and walked through the parking lot toward the entrance to the show. Phoenix could be very hot during the summer months, but in spring it was quite comfortable, this day was no exception. Several Hispanics climbed out of the truck in the next space.

"Jeb, Why do the Feds let all these people into the country?" It was Carl-Bob and he was pointing at the group from the next truck.

"They should close the border and round up all the illegals and send em back to Mexico." It was Jim-Bob who best understood international relations.

"Y'all know it's the U.N. that is stopping Newt from doing what's right. The U.N. flies em in over the Rio Grande in those black helicopters. Then they help em sign up for welfare, medicare, and food stamps. It's a plot to bankrupt America. Foreigners never done nothing for this country. It's our God given land and the Mexicans ought to do the right Christian thing and get out. Shoot. Makes me so mad that I could spit. Let's get some lunch. How about a burrito?" Jeb was almost always ready for food.

They walked through the parking lot to the entrance of the show. Most of the vehicles they passed were American pickups or four by fours with body rust, gun racks, mud flaps, and an NRA sticker, not an import in sight. A few had pro-republican stickers such as "UN out of North America", "America for Americans", "Plug the Welfare Sewer",and "Crack Babies Need Guns, Not School Lunches". There was a strong contingent of stickers that were pro-life or pro-Jesus, and an absolute dearth of rainbows, pro-whale, or pro-creativity advocates. The boys felt right at home.

Billy Bob was lagging behind looking at all the stickers. "Jeb, why did Jesus tell us to give to the poor when Newt wants to cut their benefits and raise their taxes?" Billy- Bob just didn't understand the Contract with America.

"Billy-Bob, Christ believed in voluntary charity to the poor, not a hammock for the lazy." Jeb always had an answer. He bought the admission tickets for all of them and they entered the auditorium. Once inside the air conditioning kept the building cool and a large crowd milling around the booths. There were two main parts to the show: a new guns section with displays by the manufacturers with nothing for sale, and another section where small dealers had every possible weapon, clothing, bullet, and gadget for sale. They looked around the manufacturer sections for a while just to look at the skimpily clad women pointing out the advanced feature of this or that semi-automatic pistol or rifle. These women understood how to rub the barrel of a gun. If scantily clad women talking enthusiastically about cars or exercise machines sold product, it certainly sold guns.

The boys walked past a booth with a large sign that declared "Protect your God Given Right to a Gun." The NRA was taking donations from the fearful. On the back wall of the booth there was a large picture of ATF agents breaking down a door. Under it there was a sign that read "Jack Booted Thugs Attack Personal Freedom."

"Jeb, why do the Feds want to take away our God given right to own guns?" Joey-Bob was a lifetime member of the NRA. He truly believed the ATF was there to take away his personal freedom. The NRA dis-information had worked.

"The Liberals and the Commies have taken over the Democratic party and they are trying to take away your gun so they can take over the country. Once in control they will destroy every last shread of moral fiber in America. The sin and degradation of liberal atheists will run rampant. Soon we will be forced to all live in Malibu, roller blade, eat tofu, and have sex in hot tubs, just like Californians." Jeb always had an answer.

"Jeb. Did Jesus have a gun?" It was Joey-Bob this time.

"Joey-Bob, the Lord is love, the Lord is peace, he had the higher power, rather than a high powered gun. Course, look what happened to him without a gun. No Billy- Bob, Jesus didn't have a gun. But, he should have. God learned his lesson and God wants us to have them now, otherwise why would he have given them to us? Why would he have protected it with the Constitution, if he didn't want us to have them?" Jeb knew the answers.

"But Jeb, the right to own a gun wasn't in the Constitution. God put it in the Bill of Rights. Of course the liberals made it the second amendment, not the first. They confused everybody by giving the right to a gun to the state militia not individual citizens. Liberals just don't have any respect for God's word." Billy-Bob knew his history.

"Billy-Bob, God works in mysterious ways. Remember he was dealing with man, and particularly politicians. God knows how to work with sinners and the Devil, but politicians confused him. They probably forgot or it got lost in committee when writing the Constitution and then when they wrote the Bill of Rights, they just took the dictation wrong." Jeb tried to slip out of that one.

"If the Constitution lays out our God given rights, is it in the Bible?" Billy-Bob was flipping through his Bible looking for the section. "I don't remember it in there, Jeb."

"No, Billy-Bob. The Constitution is not in the Bible. God dictated it to James Madison, just like he did with other prophets for the rest of the Bible." Jeb wiped his brow.

"Why didn't he put the Constitution in the Bible, Jeb?" Carl-Bob looked upset.

"Carl-Bob, God has been trying to be clear. One of the great mysteries is that he isn't so clear. He told Adam and Eve what to do, no fruit, but the little woman didn't listen. She ate the apple. He laid his law down in the old testament and the Jews couldn't understand it. They concentrated on whether to eat pork, cheese, and shellfish. Multiple times he told em what to do always with a middle man. Confusion, confusion, confusion. He gives the word to Moses all written down and Moses loses the tablets. Then he sent his son here to explain it. Man just couldn't understand the message. So he went back to middle men and spoke to Mohammed, low and behold the Arabs couldn't get it right. It was back to fear of bacon. Then he spoke to James Madison. They got it down on paper but forgot to put it all in until a couple of years later. But now, we got judges, liberals, communists, and democrats who just don't understand. So God will try again." Jeb hated lots of people.

"Jeb, the Bible is a bit confusing. Did God change his mind or did they just not listen? I mean first it was no apples, then no pork, cheese burgers, or shrimp, then back to no pork, then yes to fish on Fridays. Why did God keep changing his mind?" It was Joey-Bob, who did not quite know when he, himself was confused.

"One of the big problems God is having, is he uses these ancient languages. He keeps trying to speak the native language. To the Jews - Hebrew. To Jesus - Aramaic. To Mohammed - Arabic. To U.S. - English. Finally, he's speaking in a language everybody understands. I think we're gonna get it right this time. And if not, well Jesus will come again and kick our butts.

"Wouldn't it be great if Jesus came back? Jeb." Billy-Bob piped in.

"Oh, it would be great, course we'd all have to go to Israel to see him. That would be good for middle east tourism. Course the crowds would be terrible." Carl-Bob hated crowds.

"We could see him on T.V. That would be bigger than the super bowl. Jesus, brought to you by Budweiser. Don't miss the NFL pray by pray round up at half time. Besides, Jesus wouldn't want to go to Israel till later. If I were Jesus and came back, you know what I'd do. I'd go to Disneyworld. Great reservations. Easy access. Good crowd control." Robby-Bob clearly understood Messiah promotions.

"Carl-Bob, they wouldn't interrupt Jesus for half time would they?" It was John- Bob. "I mean a few beer commercials would be OK, but not a whole half time show."

"Course not, Johnie-Bob. They'd wait till he was done to have the commercials." Billy-Bob tried to reassure Johnie-Bob. "The Bible seems clear to me Jeb, why are all these people confused by it."

"Seriously, one of the big problems boys, was that these ancient peoples kept losing the sacred scrolls. The rolls of paper kept rolling off and getting lost. Moses goes up in the mountains. God gives him the fifteen commandment on tablets, in stone. Moses looses 11-15, and later smashes 1-10. If I were God, I would have carved the Ten Commandments into some large immovable object like the face of some cliff in 100 meter high block letters so nobody could lose it or smash it." Robby-Bob could see it now. I'm telling you God made a big mistake not inventing the Xerox machine til this century. I would put the instructions for one right after Genesis in Xerox 1. Then included instructions for acid free bond paper, soap, flush toilets, and guns. Life was pretty rough before soap, flush toilets, good paper, and guns. God just wasn't thinking. He could have put a copy stand in the Garden of Eden - a Kinkos maybe. Then Adam and Eve could have Xeroxed the instructions, posted em here and there and we'd all be living in paradise."

"Well anyway. We got a God given right to own guns. We got to protect ourselves from the degenerate criminals. 20,000 guns murders a year means something. Why, we have 1,000 times more murders with guns than any other civilized county. We must be doing something right. What we need are bigger, faster, more powerful guns to protect our freedom." Jeb was a peace loving man. "Let's have lunch." Jeb bought them all lunch at a stand and then they wandered into the small dealer section.

Every essential item for the sportman hunter was for sale. AK-47's, Uzi's, MAC-10's, semi-automatic shot guns, clips that held more rounds than you could imagine, scopes, and innumerable kits. There were kits for every possible use: flash suppressers, silencers, bayonets, sites, scope mounts, and trigger modifiers. Each came in a little plastic bag with the name of the gun on it. Many of these kits made the weapon fully automatic. It was strictly illegal to sell a fully automatic weapon without proper permits, but purchasing a semi-automatic that a brain damaged gerbil with a screwdriver and a modification kit could make fully automatic, was A-OK. Jeb and the boys window shopped, if you can window shop at a store with only a folding table and a P.O. box number, to find the best price.

"How much are the AK-47's, if we buy several?" Jeb had enough money but he wanted the parishioners to get their money's worth.

"They're $500 a piece." The dealer had a crate of them legally imported from Slovakia. "How many do you want?"

"We need ten of em for the hunting trip. Can we make a deal?" The show was going to be open for 2 days, so Jeb knew he had limited time to find what they needed.

"Ten of em. Yeah, I'll give em to ya for $450 a piece, cash." Ten. Woah. You certainly need ten of these baby's if you are going deer hunting. "Do you want scopes, flash suppressers, or conversion kits?"

"We need conversion kits and flash suppressers for all of them. Do you have the combo infrared, image intensifier, and laser scopes?" God bless America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. Jeb had always wanted a combo scope.

"Yeah, we got em, but they are another $400 a piece." This guy must have money. "How many do you want?"

"Jeb. We need those combo scopes to find the..., the deer. The conversion kits are essential in case the deer turns on you. They can be really dangerous if you can't go fully automatic." Billy-Bob had been taught to hunt by his papa, who had been taught by his papa. Who some believed may have been the same person. He came from a long line of sportsmen. "Do you have any anti-deer mines?"

"Billy-Bob, we need some other stuff and I don't want to spend it all on scopes and such." Jeb had a long shopping list.

"What do you need? We got it all. Mace, stun guns, pepper spray, brass knuckles, ammo, camouflage, bibles, bazookas, surplus, what ever, we got it."

"We need ten semi-automatic pistols with extra clips, blasting caps, magnesium flares, ammo, plastic drums, fuel oil, and ammonium nitrate. Oh yeah, do you have the abridged King James version?" Jeb needed just the essentials but he only had $20,000 from the church discretionary fund for this project.

"So that's 10 pistols, 20 clips, 10 AK-47's, 10 conversion kits, 10 Combo scopes, 10 flash suppressers with bayonets, a pack of blasting caps, 5,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 fifty gallon plastic drums. You want the ammonium nitrate in the drums?" The salesman looked up from his order form to ask Jeb.

Jeb nodded discretely.

"500 Gallons of fuel oil, some magnesium flares, and how do you want the Bible engraved? That will be $12,969. Cash or Visa?" The dealer handed Jeb the bill to check. "Do you guys need delivery?" He looked at Jeb.

"No, thanks. We'll rent a truck. Thanks. Do you know who sells camouflage? Boys, I want you to go rent a truck. Load the fuel oil and drums into the rental. Put the guns and stuff in Johnie-Bob's truck. I want to find a computer to post an ad, why don't you guys help Mr., Mr., the dealer put our purchases in the trucks?" Jeb paid in cash and then started to wander the floor looking for computer terminals. In one corner of the dealer area there were about a hundred terminals each connected to the Internet. There were all sorts of gun enthusiasts surfing the net looking for like minded souls out to protect their god given right to own a gun, or a lot of guns.

Jeb sat down at the PC and clicked on the newsgroups. He immediately went to the alt.right group and started reading the postings. He knew he needed help with the project, at least a few more men, maybe someone with more military experience. "Christians with guns must be here somewhere." He muttered to himself. The fantastic thing about the net is that you can find 100 people in five minutes who have the same interests you have. You want sex with aardvarks, there is someone on the net with that passion, and you can find them 24 hours a day -seven days a week. If you went bar trolling looking for aardvark fanciers, you'd get punched too often to satisfy yourself. Or the dental bills would bankrupt you. On the net, you can anonymously advertise your special needs, send the ad to 10 million people, and find 100 who think exactly like you do. It is untraceable, fast, and free. Fantastic for the powers of good and evil.

Jeb found exactly what he wanted. He posted through an anonymous server in Finland, and signed off.

Chapter 51

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