"Oh, Heavenly father, you died for our sins,
We are unworthy of your great sacrifice,
You are the lamb that laid down before the wolves,
You willingly sacrificed your life for our salvation,
Thank you, you are peace, and love, and goodness,
Please bless this meal and those with us tonight,
So that we can follow in your footsteps,
That we may plug the welfare sewer with the lazy heathen,
That we may stop the prevert sinners who corrupt our minds,
and help us to smite down those that waver from your path,
Amen."
Jebediah Zucker, looked around as he finished saying grace. The five men in the room had their shaved heads bowed in prayer and didn't rise from their knees for another few seconds. He had them in the palm of his hand and they didn't even know it. None of them even knew his real name - even the FBI hadn't connected him with his given name.
"Amen!" It was a shout that a drill sergeant would have been proud of. They had worked on it for months and now did it perfectly.
"Robby-Bob, Pass the beer and the hot dogs." First food then teaching. Even Christ had to fed them all at the last supper before waxing philosophic. Who picked up the check for that meal? Romans 14? Forget it, if it was there some monk in the middle ages cut it out of the latest edition. A few weenies and beer and they will be ready. "Carl-Bob, pass that macaroni salad down here. That is mighty fine macaroni salad isn't it? The secret is the miracle whip" Sounds like a religious sex toy doesn't it? While the way to a man's heart is through is stomach, the way to his wallet is through inspiration. "Joey-Bob are you done with that ketchup? Joey-Bob unscrew the cap and then pour it on the hot dog. No, don't put the cap on the hot dog, good, now pour it from the bottle. Good." I'll bet he wears that hat with the flaps to keep the wind from blowing right through. "Joey-Bob, give me the ketchup. Boy, Christ died for your sins and you'd better remember it. Don't make me die waiting for you. Pass the ketchup."
"Jeb. Are we going to that gun show in Arizona? We outta go. We could make it a pilgrimage. I was reading in the bible that Jesus traveled in the holy land Jeb, we should do the same." Billy-Bob hadn't been far from Tulsa in his 22 years and Arizona sounded very foreign and far away to him as he munched on his hot dog and guzzled the cold beer. He was trying very hard not to get too much ketchup on his camouflage pants.
"Billy-Bob, Your absolutely right. Christ did travel in the holy land and that All Western Gun Show would be mighty nice indeed." Jeb didn't have time to worry about getting food on his pants, he was too worried the other men would eat it all before he did. "Why don't you and Johnnie-Bob pack up the truck and we'll road trip down there?"
"I'm not sure if we can have the truck, Jeb. Susy-Bob took the truck to her mothers' after I lost my license." Johnnie-Bob had hit a school bus while drunk and uninsured one to many times even for his parole officer to let it slide. He had lost his license for a month this time. "I could get her to bring it back if we need it. Do you have some chasers for the beer?"
"In the cupboard Johnnie-Bob, you tell that woman that you are the master of your castle, and the truck is part of your castle. The man is master - and she needs a woopin if she don't bring it right back. Amen." Give them the vote and they get uppitty.
"Amen!" Another group shouting of god's holy word.
"Look at that pie- pecan pie. Johnnie-Bob that woman of yours can cook. And Cool Whip for topping. Wooo Weee!" Cool Whip, isn't that an eskimo sex toy? Jeb loved dessert. He'd say, A meal without dessert, isn't a meal.
"Robby-Bob and Carl-Bob quit that fussin over the radio and leave it on country western. Carl-Bob next time we can have that R&B. I got something to say to you all. I want you all to listen up. I got a message today from Jesus. I was praying this morning and I got a sign. A sign that the end of the world is coming unless we do something about it. Jesus told me that the sinners have blasphemed the world in a most unholy way. You know the U.N. is trying to make one world government like in the prophesies. Well, the sinners out in that center of Sodom and Cremora. That center of homosexual depravity and vice they call San Francisco has a man who has taken it upon himself to try to create a new world. Praise the Lord. Jesus came to earth because it is the center of the world. Jesus died for the white man. Jesus has one earth, one center, one place for all the people to be divided into the damned and the saved. And now a sinner, a prevert from that center of preverts, is going to make another world. A refuge for preverts and homosexuals on another planet. Jesus is going to wipe out all the sinners on earth in a day of cataclysm but we have to stop this prevert from taking the sinners to another planet. I have a plan to stop that sinner."
"Jeb. If Jesus is the Son of the Lord, and the Lord is all powerful, can't he get the sinners if they are hiding on another planet?" Billy-Bob still had problems with the idea that an all powerful Lord could create a rock that was too big even for him to pick up.
"Billy-Bob, the Lord is all powerful and he could get the sinners even if they lived on another planet. But when the lord comes and smites all the sinners, we don't want him to miss any of them. Sinners are like roaches, if they are concentrated it is easier to get em all. We can't let em spread to Venus." Jeb could explain anything.
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