Chapter 35

Harold and Emily took the last plane out of San Francisco that night. Harold didn't want to miss a single minute of fun in Hawaii so they arrived in Maui just before midnight. It had been a particularly uncomfortable flight. The charter service had placed the seats about 18 inches apart. Harold's thigh was about 22 inches long so the guy in front of him had a mysterious lump in the back of his seat the whole way. Harold had enough knee damage that the savings on this particular flight would be more than offset by the orthopedic bills. They quite miraculously got all of their luggage at the other end. Harold had brought enough clothing to outfit everyone on the plane. He was ready to record every minute of the trip on both still and video tape. They lugged the baggage to the rental car bus stop and then waited. Very little happens on Maui at midnight. They gave up on the bus about thirty minutes later and carried the luggage to the little office three blocks away.

"Welcome to Maui, and Aloha. I will need your drivers license, a major credit card, your rental car confirmation papers, a blood and urine sample, and signatures on these twelve slips of paper." It had been a very long day and Harold would have signed just about anything. "This form indicates that you won't drive on any unpaved roads, this form indicates that if you go to the top of Mount Haleakala and take any sacred rocks angering Pele the volcano god, that you will put the car in a low gear when you drive down the mountain, this form indicates that you won't get any sand or suntan lotion in the car, and this form indicates that you will fill it with gas, clean it, get the oil changed, and service it before bringing it back to us. Would you like our collision coverage? It is only $10.00 per day. If you don't take the coverage you are responsible for any and all damage to the car. Please sign this form about the brake failure exclusion clause on Haleakula. This insurance duplicates insurance you already have. Total price is $3,600 a year. Usury you might say. No just excessive. Would you like to have an upgrade to a more comfortable car, or a convertible? We have four doors, with power steering, power brakes, air-conditioning, and more room. It is only $10.00 a day more. The convertible is $35.00 a day more." Harold, being pathologically cheap, refused. "Oh darn, we don't have the economy car, we'll just give you the convertible. Your $19.00 a day car is $265.00 for three days. Please enjoy the car and have it back by 5:17 am to avoid penalties. If you don't fill it, we will at $5.00 a gallon. Thanks for renting from Hurtz. And have a happy holiday on Maui. Mahalo and Aloha."

Harold drove from the Kahului Airport to Ma'alaea and then up the coast to Lahaina and then to Ka'anapali. It was just after 1:30 am when they pulled into the Westin Maui. It was a beautiful hotel but considering the hour, it did not matter whether it was a Motel 6 or the Ritz. It may have been their wedding night but it had been a long 2000 mile flight and they just hit the sack.

Harold awoke at 3:30 am, went to the bathroom, and then fell back asleep. His inner biological clock was set on San Francisco time. At around 7:00 the sound of the surf and the light from the dawn combined to arouse Emily. She lay next to him for about a half an hour, thinking of the wedding, the wondrous flight from San Francisco, and wondering what was in all that luggage. Harold awoke around 7:30.

"Good morning, Sweetie. How are you?" Harold looked a bit disturbed, worried, shell shocked.

"Emily, I had a terrible dream. I was walking through a forest and it was the day after a full moon. I came to a small clearing in the woods and there was a little house. In front of the house there was this enormous pile of hair. Like you had smeared depilatory on a wolf. I knocked on the door of the house, and a man answered. He had a cold black nose and large canine teeth. He looked at me, and said sorry, I am not feeling too well, just been shedding after the full moon. Then I awoke and had this mouthful of hair. Gee whiz, I must have slept on your hair again."

Emily rolled over and held him. "It's OK, it will be OK after I wash it."

Harold then looked at the woman who made his heart go thumpita, thumpita. The woman who put the wind beneath his shorts, no that's not right. Who had been willing to marry him. He was so happy. "I love you." He then immediately jumped out of bed, ran over to the dresser, and pulled out one of those printed guides to your holiday in wherever. "Sweetie, This morning at 7:45, there is a tour talk and free breakfast over at the Royal Lahaina. They have door prizes and a two hour discussion of all the trips we could take. Then I figure we can drive to Hana. It is only four hours, one way, on a winding road. We've got to see it all."

Emily unbuttoned the top button on her camisole, exposing the soft round edge of her breasts. She looked at Harold, licked her lips, and then unbuttoned the next button. Harold looked like he had been hit by one of the Ketamine darts. He dropped the This Week Maui brochure and walked quite mechanically to the bed: sort of a cross between Herman Munster and King Kong. Harold crawled on his knees across the bed and arrived just as the last button was undone. He began sucking on one nipple while caressing the other with his hand. He removed Emily's panties which were starting to be damp from excitement. Harold suddenly jumped up from the bed and ran to the little refrigerator in the room. He opened it and removed a chilled bottle of champagne. He grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and the ice bucket. He ran back to the bed and jumped in. The champagne cork hit the roof producing a small hail of plaster. The champagne overflowed in the bed and Harold let the cold golden liquid pour across Emily's belly and pool in her navel. He set the bottle down and proceeded to drink champagne from her navel. Some of it had spilled on her breasts which were dutifully cleaned. He then proceeded to pour two glasses which they emptied. The next two were drunk in lock arm position. Harold was feeling quite warm with the trade wind off the balcony and the alcohol in his blood. He then poured a small amount of champagne into Emily's navel, splashed it on her breasts, and then proceeded to pour it across her vulva. She squealed from the cold bubbly liquid but Harold quickly warmed her with his tongue. Once all the champagne was carefully cleaned up, Harold rolled on top of Emily and they became one as husband and wife.

Chapter 36

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