Chapter 16

John Thomas had not planned to be a scummy guy as a child. No one really grows up thinking - Gee, when I grow up I want to sell Junk Bonds to people on a fixed income. No one plans to have their pension fund fail. People end up in those positions through a slow evolution. They like money, they spend money, they find a job that may conflict with their better judgment but it makes a lot of money. They go to law school thinking they will defend the poor. They realize they can't make a living defending the poor, the poor are too poor to make a living off. So they defend the rich or rich companies. Well, that is exactly what happened to John Thomas. He had tried to defend the common man. He even opened one of those offices that defend drunk drivers and help you through divorce and bankruptcy for a small chunk of money. He then decided to go into environmental law. He tried to defend the squirrels and the owls but found that they rarely paid their bills. He finally decided to end the charity phase of his life and started working for oil companies. They always needed environmental impact statements. He rationalized that he would lead them in the right direction and save the squirrels from the inside. After a couple of years he realized he was just a corporate lackey trying to explain anything, to anyone, to get a permit, to do whatever they wanted. When the spills occurred he would explain why the skimming boats were not available soon enough to make any difference. He would explain why the tankers were single hulled. It wasn't because they were cheaper or because they weighed less and could carry more. It was because that was the best design and fit right into government regulations. The fact that a bunch of cute fuzzy animals were suffocating in muck just before they drown was not lost on him, but he had long ago taken the plunge and was able to explain any position to anyone with any set of facts and feel good about it. He was a lawyer. He slept well at night. Drove a big expensive car. And felt good about himself.

When George called him he was working on a brief that would ask for the leasing of Alaskan tundra that was not only pristine wilderness and filled with endangered species but also oil rich land. Those fuzzy little animals and plants were just on the wrong piece of land. The land had taken millions of years to get to this state, it could wait another few minutes to be violated while he talked to George. He leaned over and started the fee clock for the call.

"Hey George, good to hear from you. I've almost got the reports finished for the Venusian BioAtmospherics environmental impact statement.

"Good to hear from you too John. Harold and I are on top of the world with this project. We are doing great. No problemo."

"Seriously, George, I saw you on the morning show. Are you sure you want to go on with this project? Venus, George, it's an entire planet this time. The liabilities are incalculable. What if you screw it up?"

"But think of the benefits if we own all the development rights?"

"George, I will start on it right away. Why don't you and I do lunch? We will work out the details. Sign another retainer agreement. You probably need a statement for NASA and Congress. I am sure you will have to testify."

John hung up the phone, cleared his desk, and called in his secretary. Planetary Real Estate Licensing must be under real estate law. He thought to himself. When John Thomas began a project, there was a properly concocted paper trail a mile wide that always defended his position. The shredders made sure of that.

Chapter 17

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